Posted on February 5, 2015

Where do you live (in your head)?

Dealing with Negative Events…

How can you minimize the influence of negative events?

As the saying goes, “Into each life, a little rain must fall.” That is, you can’t go through life without having anything negative happening.

Let’s take this literally for a second. Presumably, if you had outdoor plans, then a real rainstorm is a negative event. Of course, you have a choice when faced with rain about how to keep it from making you feel too bad. In general, there are two ways to deal with a negative event like rain.

One possibility is to rethink the event to find the silver lining. This kind of reappraisal turns what seems to be a negative into a positive (or at least something less negative).  In the case of a storm, you could focus on the benefits that the rain gives you an opportunity to do something else that might be more productive in other areas of your life.

A second possibility is to disengage from the situation. By focusing your attention elsewhere, you dull the negative impact of the event on yourself.  If the rainstorm disrupted an important life event, then you might have difficulty seeing the positive.  In that case, you might just try to ignore the negative event. But ignoring an event does not solve the problem at hand.  When your outdoor plans get rained out, work inside on your calendar and the days ahead. Focus on the positive aspects of your goals.

The way I have set up this discussion suggests that people use both strategies, but they engage them in different situations.  When an event is a little negative, then you may be more likely to reappraise the situation than to disengage from it.  When it is highly negative, though, you may be more likely to disengage than to reappraise.  So lets apply this to real life and how to deal with it.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Put life in perspective. If you are expecting something to happen a certain way and it doesn’t, take a moment and analyze how big of a deal it actually is, in the “macro” scale.

As an example; if your assistant repeatedly does not do what they are asked, communicate in a calm assertive way that you have asked them to do something within a specific time frame. Have them give you a time frame that they feel they can accomplish the task at hand. Communication is the key factor.  By them giving you the time frame they are committing to the task, “They own it”.  Then if it does not happen, communicate what the consequences will be next time it happens.  If you let it go then you are creating the environment of mediocrity and you will be miserable on an ongoing basis.

This example permeates all aspects of your life. If you do not communicate your desired outcome from others you will always have internal conflict when they are not completed. In turn you will harp on the negative.

At the end of the day the answer to all of this is very simple. When something negative happens. Take it in, deal with it, then MOVE ON. Don’t allow it to occupy time in your head. Your brain is the most expensive real estate per square inch.  So unless the problem is worth your hourly income then discard it and MOVE ON.

Posted on February 2, 2015

Groundhogs Day…

Am I going to talk about Punxsutawney Phil, or Groundhog Day, NO! It is already a widely recognized and popular tradition, received widespread attention as a result of the 1993 film Groundhog Day. But I will take a strong feature from it.

The movie depicts a man that wakes up every morning and the day repeats itself, over and over again.

In many ways it sounds boring and a miserable way to live life. I think it is a miserable existence, but some aspects are what are needed to be successful. What would happen if you knew exactly what was going to happen every step of the way in your day? If you know what was going to happen next as a result of your action?

 Guess what, you already do.

You know if – You set goals, write them down and break them down to a daily activity you will achieve what you set out to do.

You know if – You are consistent in your activities the results will happen.

You know if – You wake up every morning and work your calendar and not have your calendar work you, you will be a very happy person.

So why don’t we? The answer is simple, human nature. How to defeat the mediocrity. Do what needs to be done.

Focus; keep the eye on the prize.

Passion is the key component in your success.

Action is the step needed. For without action nothing ever happens.

 It is Groundhog Day for you every day. Not in a bad way, but in a way that will lead you to success in achieving your goals.

 Even though it is a very funny to see a bunch of grown men in top hats standing around in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, waiting to see what Punxsutawney Phil is going to do. Get out there and forget about the shadow.

Be consistent

Be focused

Be passionate

TAKE ACTION EVERY DAY.

 

Posted on January 21, 2015

There are three kinds of people in the world

http://youtu.be/Y3QpubKy8_s

The person that MAKES things happen.

The person that WATCHES things happen.

The person that says WHAT the F**** just happened.

 What are you going to do TODAY to take control of your life and be HAPPY?

Most people don’t do anything and that is okay if you are a conformist and enjoy basking in mediocrity.

Are you like “Most” people?

My clients definitely are not like most people and if you are taking the time to read this, you know deep down that you not only know better, but also want better for yourself.

Those who make things happen do not take “NO” for an answer. They take the bull by the horns and get up every morning ready to succeed. Ready to do what needs to be done in order to achieve the goals they set forth for themselves. They have an underlying drive that propels them to achieve what mediocre people only dream of.

How easy would life be if you could just wait for someone to deliver your dreams on a silver platter? If you think this sounds cliché, guess what, it isn’t. This is the mentality I come across day in and day out. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a full on verbal admittance of procrastination, but their actions and behaviors are clear indicators of how these individuals have conditioned their life and thought process.

You are either a:

WILL do it

WON’T do it

CAN’T do it type of a person. The choice is yours!

Don’t let life pass you by. Take advantage of all the opportunities that are around you. Trust me, there are no scarcity of stepping stones out there ready to take you to where you want to be in life.  All you need to do is open your eyes, Get rid of the NOISE! Keep your end goal in mind…MAKE IT HAPPEN! The reality is, only you can.

I have said this at least three times today already.

“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do.”

Remember, Don’t be that person that says, “What the F**** Just Happened?”

Go forth and act accordingly…Make it happen NOW.

 

Posted on January 19, 2015

Was it a dream or a Goal?

https://youtu.be/jw1R_JBuHEQ

Today is motivational Monday, and coincidentally, Martin Luther King day as well.  Today, we do not need to look too far for motivation.  Not long ago, in 1963 a man had a dream or so he said. The reality is….It wasn’t a dream at all.  IT WAS A GOAL!

He DID NOT wish it to come true.

He DID NOT say he was going to do it “someday”.

He DID NOT give himself “Noise” as to why he couldn’t do it.

He woke up every morning and did what he needed to do, day after day, EVERY SINGLE DAY in order to achieve his goal. Even on days when just the day before, he had been defeated, deflated and things didn’t look promising, that didn’t stop him from taking action EVERY….SINGLE….DAY!

Martin Luther King conquered adversity in every sense of the word.  Physically beaten, verbally abused, and cast off every single day.

Today, when you are reflecting on how difficult it is to adhere to your calendar, How difficult it is to stay focused on what is important in your life, How you can not seem to muster up the energy to work your plan, look deep within and think about how Martin Luther King felt EVERY SINGLE DAY of his life.

Dare I say it… The great Dr. Martin Luther King did not have a dream.  He had a Goal, he had conviction and he had passion to achieve it all.  There is no stopping an individual that has a vision, an individual that has real goals, an individual that wants what they want, the way they want it. 

 Go out there today and GET IT DONE!

 You do not have a dream, you have your GOALS… 

“Dreams occupy your mind; Goals take over your realty…”

 

Posted on January 16, 2015

SPG in the press

Strategic Performance Group finds its way to a myriad of press…

 

Posted on January 12, 2015

History In The Making… Now Make Yours.

Historic Paris Rally Against Terrorism from guimera

For the people that follow me on this site, I know you are used to seeing a short video to go along with my daily messages. After much thought, I would like to share with you a slide share that I came across. I feel it is not always what we hear that makes us feel but that visuals too are a great way to stir the soul.

As you make your way through the images, I hope you can read through the hidden messages. Amazingly enough, they pertain to things I guide my clients on a daily basis.

Today’s post in no way has a political message. I hope that yesterday’s world events touched you as much as they touched me and that you are proud to be who you are.  That it encourages you to strive to make a difference in whatever capacity you see fit, whether in the world, your home life, or in business.  

 The question stands, how does this pertain to coaching?

Commitment – World leaders set their differences aside to show unity to the world in a time that was needed most.

Action – They did not wait for tomorrow or next week to organize a perfectly orchestrated event.  They went ahead and did it. Then and Now.

Contagious – They did it with such conviction and belief that they created a buzz that became contagious.

Inspire – Seeing 3.7 million people gather in unity to combat a long standing problem.

Learn – Leaders that have huge differences every day, from a line on a map or a faith in their religion set them aside for the greater good. They learned to see the prize and the end.

Motivate – At the end of the day these leaders forecasted to have 1 million people gather to send a message to terrorism. They were able to motivate 3.7 million people to stand tall in their own belief and they made a statement for the world to notice.

At the end of the day I am not saying you need to make a stance as these leaders did, but what I am saying is that you need to have the heart to make life happen on your terms. To have the conviction that you control the world around you. To move forward knowing that you can do whatever you set your mind to do.

Posted on January 8, 2015

How Do High Achievers Really Think?

Beliefs that lead to success.

Positive affirmations are a staple of the self-help industry, but there is a problem with standing in front of the mirror every morning and saying something like: “I prosper wherever I turn and I know that I deserve prosperity of all kinds.” “I am my own unique self—special, creative and wonderful.” Or “I will be king of the world in just five days, I just know it.” It makes you feel kinda silly (and sometimes worse).

What does research show about how high achievers really think? High achievers are often marked, unsurprisingly, by a strong motive to achieve. Less accomplished individuals are often more motivated to avoid failure.

 Achievement motivated individuals have a strong desire to accomplish something important, and gain gratification from success in demanding tasks. Consequently they are willing to expend intense effort over long timespans in the pursuit of their goals.

 Failure-avoiding individuals are more focused on protecting themselves from the embarrassment and sense of incompetence that can accompany failing at a valued task. Consequently they are less likely to attempt achievement-oriented tasks, and may give up quickly if success is not readily forthcoming. Where total avoidance of tasks is not possible, failure-avoiding individuals may procrastinate, give less than their best effort, or engage in other self-handicapping behavior that provides a face- saving excuse in the event of failure (e.g. drinking heavily the night before the morning of an important exam).

 Of course, achievement motivation versus failure avoidance motivation exist on a continuum, with most of us falling somewhere in the middle. In the research literature, this continuum is described as Relative Motive Strength.

 An individual’s relative motive strength does not exist in a vacuum, but is associated with an elaborate matrix of beliefs that justify the commitment of intense effort toward goal achievement, or the relative lack thereof. The core beliefs that differentiate achievement motivated individuals are:

Success is your personal responsibility

Achievement motivated individuals tend to believe that initiative, effort, and persistence are key determinants of success at demanding tasks. Failure-avoiding individuals are more likely to view success as dependent on available resources and situational constraints (e.g. the task is too hard, or the marker was biased).

 Demanding tasks are opportunities

Achievement motivated individuals tend to see demanding tasks where success is uncertain as ‘challenges’ or ‘opportunities’. Failure avoiding individuals are more likely to see them as ‘threats’ that may lead to the embarrassment of failure. An achievement motivated individual might tell a failure avoiding individual, “Anything worthwhile is difficult, so stop acting so surprised”.

 Achievement striving is enjoyable

Achievement motivated individuals’ associate effort on demanding tasks with dedication, concentration, commitment and involvement. Failure-avoiding individuals categories such effort as overloading or stressful. They see perseverance in the face of setbacks and obstacles as slightly compulsive.

 Achievement striving is valuable

Achievement motivated individuals’ value hard work in and of itself. Failure-avoiding individuals may mock achievement striving as uncool (e.g. the attitude that the L on learner plates stands for Loser). They may associate achievement striving with lack of a social life or even early death by heart attack.

 Skills can be improved

 Achievement-motivated individuals have a strong belief that they can improve their performance on demanding tasks with practice, training, coaching, and dedication to learning. Failure-avoiding individuals tend to see skills as fixed and/or dependent on innate talents.

The research into how skills can most effectively be improved is discussed here.

 Persistence works

 Achievement motivated individuals are inclined to believe that continued effort and commitment will overcome initial obstacles or failures. Failure-avoiding individuals are inclined to see initial failure as a sign of things to come.

 So the achievement motivated individual says, “Don’t assume that you can’t do something until you’ve tried. And I mean really tried, like tried 3000 times, not that you tried three times, and ‘oh I give up.'”

 And the failure-avoiding individual responds, “You really need to learn when to quit.”

Once you understand the modes of achievement motivated versus failure-avoiding thinking, you will recognize them in the way that others talk about their goals, dreams, successes, and setbacks. You will also recognize them in your own thinking, and you can choose to cultivate the beliefs that will support you to achieve your goals. This is more effective than just trying to think positive and relying on the law of attraction to provide you with what you want.

 

Posted on January 5, 2015

Make 2015 the year that is the one you want to mirror for the rest of your life.

As I’m driving to my office this morning I had no choice but to observe all the people driving around me with an abundance of rejuvenated energy.  It must be the New Years resolution they made.   Of course my cynical side takes over and I say to myself,  “Self, do these people know that less than 1% of them are going to be driving like this in 30 days?   That less than 1% of them will actually follow up with their New Year’s resolution?  

I know they don’t have a clue, I know it, just as I know that they all sat around during the last two weeks, on their couch formulating great ideas of what they are going to start today. Telling themselves they could not do it during the holidays, BECAUSE, “Nothing gets done during the last two weeks of the year.”  

I beg to differ and I have many clients that have “Measurable proof”.  BECAUSE they did not listen to that “Noise”.  As a result they had a tremendously busy end of year.

I kept on hearing the quote from Nolan Bushenell in my head.

“A lot of people have ideas but there are few who decide to do something about them NOW.  Not tomorrow.  Not next week, But TODAY.  The true entrepreneur is a doer.”

So good morning to all of you that are doers, that have maintained that level of energy and drive during the last few weeks of the year.  For those of you that have not, or that want to make more of what you do on a daily basis, in order to achieve your goals. To become part of the 1% that will be accountable to yourself and achieve the goals you set out for yourself.   Feel free to reach out to me and let’s discuss how we can make 2015 the year that is the one you want to mirror for the rest of your life. 

Posted on December 31, 2014

Resolve, Commit and Fulfill in 2015…

You can and you Will…  Let me repeat myself…….

YOU CAN……AND YOU WILL!

What am I talking about?

Your goals, your dreams and everything in between. This time…….I am here to tell you that this time, things WILL be different. This is THE year.  2015 will be your best year yet and failure will not be an option.  Not on my time it won’t be.

I know what you are going to say. I hear the voices in your head already. The army of negativity that has risen within and is waging the war against the general who is commanding you to move forward and defeat mediocrity because the truth is, I can lead you through this battle but only you can defeat the enemy. You are the only one who can destroy all the negative, self-deprecating thoughts that you allow to take up space in your brain.

David, “you don’t understand,” you say. David, “I’ve been down this path before,” “I’ve started over so many times that I’ve stopped counting,” you plead.

I know, and more so, I understand.

I know that you have witnessed countless of New Year’s come and go with your resolutions flying in the wind just a mere two weeks into the new year. Guess what, so has 99 percent of everyone else. You are not alone.

People often hear me say, “The difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline.” You need to write it down and make it happen.  So take a moment RIGHT NOW, BEFORE the ball drops and you make your New Years Eve resolution and list the top three things you would like to accomplish in your life this year. Go ahead, write them down and be very specific.

No pressure. If you are afraid then you will continue to live a life that is less than what you deserve and quite honestly, you don’t deserve better if you don’t believe in yourself.  BUT if you stand steadfast in your belief that you are reading this for a reason and there is no such thing as coincidence and that you have received this or even stumbled across it for a reason, then get ready for a total transformation, because YOU have to believe that you have what it takes.  Remember another David Truism,  “What ever the mind can perceive it can and will achieve…”

There is no shame in failing, it’s how we rise again that matters.

Below you will find the top 4 things that you will need in the first few weeks of January. Through my blog, I will continue working with you on a monthly basis over the next 12 months. Don’t be shy. Ask questions, leave a comment, email me or even message privately, but DO SOMETHING.

My advice for the month of January:

  1. Take action – Write down your top 3 goals for the year. No goal is too big or too small. 
  2. Believe you can do it – Remove the Noise…..Remember, YOU CAN and YOU WILL!
  3. Failure is NOT an Option – Set backs are different than failure. Keep your eye on the prize and move forward.
  4. Stay Strong – Our mind is a powerful tool. Mental strength will propel you in the right direction, so negate all the negative thoughts and focus on strategies that will help you win the war.

2015 is closely upon us. Decide to make it a year that is all about creating what YOU WANT AND DESERVE.

From my family to you and yours, I wish you a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year,  complete with personal fulfillment and happiness.

Posted on December 22, 2014

It’s You vs. Yourself

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gV0QOUxyjs

It’s Monday and yes…..It’s almost the end of 2014. What does that mean for you?

It means…….THE PERSON WHO WINS IS THE ONE WHO THINKS THEY CAN!

Can you win? Do you have it in you?

Success begins with a positive state of mind. Believe that you can do it because at the end of the day, it’s you against yourself.

Spare me all the excuses, the half-truths, the procrastination and all the other “Noise” you tell me, such as;    David, in the new year I will do this, or I will do that. Forget the half-truths you tell me, what about the ones you tell yourself?

  • I already work too many hours, I don’t have time to do that.
  • I’m afraid of making the call.
  • I’m not sure I can do that. 
  • I can’t do it because it’s never been done like that before.
  • I don’t think it will work.
  • I don’t have everything in place yet, in order to do that, Let me wait until I have it all together to start.
  • I don’t have enough resources to make that happen.
  • I’m afraid to make a mistake. 

The ONLY good part about verbalizing these self-defeating comments to me is that I get to combat them and work through them with you. To have your abilities overtake these fear based comments. I am more concerned about the ones you don’t verbalize. Those are the silent killers.

The only person that wins is the one that thinks he CAN!  He turns the “Think” Into “It will happen by…”

If you don’t take risks, you won’t succeed. If you want to win but think you can’t, you’ve lost already.  If you believe in yourself it becomes a self-fulfilling reality. Don’t let others discourage you. Don’t let the negativity permeate the world you work so hard to create around you.  Don’t let other people’s “Noise” become your “Noise.”

It’s not you against them…..It’s YOU vs. YOURSELF!

“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do”

If you are reading this you have already taken the steps to strip away the mediocrity; now prove to YOURSELF that what your mind can perceive it WILL achieve.