Positive affirmations are a staple of the self-help industry, but there is a problem with standing in front of the mirror every morning and saying something like: “I prosper wherever I turn and I know that I deserve prosperity of all kinds.” “I am my own unique self—special, creative and wonderful.” Or “I will be king of the world in just five days, I just know it.” It makes you feel kinda silly (and sometimes worse).
What does research show about how high achievers really think? High achievers are often marked, unsurprisingly, by a strong motive to achieve. Less accomplished individuals are often more motivated to avoid failure.
Achievement motivated individuals have a strong desire to accomplish something important, and gain gratification from success in demanding tasks. Consequently they are willing to expend intense effort over long timespans in the pursuit of their goals.
Failure-avoiding individuals are more focused on protecting themselves from the embarrassment and sense of incompetence that can accompany failing at a valued task. Consequently they are less likely to attempt achievement-oriented tasks, and may give up quickly if success is not readily forthcoming. Where total avoidance of tasks is not possible, failure-avoiding individuals may procrastinate, give less than their best effort, or engage in other self-handicapping behavior that provides a face- saving excuse in the event of failure (e.g. drinking heavily the night before the morning of an important exam).
Of course, achievement motivation versus failure avoidance motivation exist on a continuum, with most of us falling somewhere in the middle. In the research literature, this continuum is described as Relative Motive Strength.
An individual’s relative motive strength does not exist in a vacuum, but is associated with an elaborate matrix of beliefs that justify the commitment of intense effort toward goal achievement, or the relative lack thereof. The core beliefs that differentiate achievement motivated individuals are:
Success is your personal responsibility
Achievement motivated individuals tend to believe that initiative, effort, and persistence are key determinants of success at demanding tasks. Failure-avoiding individuals are more likely to view success as dependent on available resources and situational constraints (e.g. the task is too hard, or the marker was biased).
Demanding tasks are opportunities
Achievement motivated individuals tend to see demanding tasks where success is uncertain as ‘challenges’ or ‘opportunities’. Failure avoiding individuals are more likely to see them as ‘threats’ that may lead to the embarrassment of failure. An achievement motivated individual might tell a failure avoiding individual, “Anything worthwhile is difficult, so stop acting so surprised”.
Achievement striving is enjoyable
Achievement motivated individuals’ associate effort on demanding tasks with dedication, concentration, commitment and involvement. Failure-avoiding individuals categories such effort as overloading or stressful. They see perseverance in the face of setbacks and obstacles as slightly compulsive.
Achievement striving is valuable
Achievement motivated individuals’ value hard work in and of itself. Failure-avoiding individuals may mock achievement striving as uncool (e.g. the attitude that the L on learner plates stands for Loser). They may associate achievement striving with lack of a social life or even early death by heart attack.
Skills can be improved
Achievement-motivated individuals have a strong belief that they can improve their performance on demanding tasks with practice, training, coaching, and dedication to learning. Failure-avoiding individuals tend to see skills as fixed and/or dependent on innate talents.
The research into how skills can most effectively be improved is discussed here.
Persistence works
Achievement motivated individuals are inclined to believe that continued effort and commitment will overcome initial obstacles or failures. Failure-avoiding individuals are inclined to see initial failure as a sign of things to come.
So the achievement motivated individual says, “Don’t assume that you can’t do something until you’ve tried. And I mean really tried, like tried 3000 times, not that you tried three times, and ‘oh I give up.'”
And the failure-avoiding individual responds, “You really need to learn when to quit.”
Once you understand the modes of achievement motivated versus failure-avoiding thinking, you will recognize them in the way that others talk about their goals, dreams, successes, and setbacks. You will also recognize them in your own thinking, and you can choose to cultivate the beliefs that will support you to achieve your goals. This is more effective than just trying to think positive and relying on the law of attraction to provide you with what you want.
As I’m driving to my office this morning I had no choice but to observe all the people driving around me with an abundance of rejuvenated energy. It must be the New Years resolution they made. Of course my cynical side takes over and I say to myself, “Self, do these people know that less than 1% of them are going to be driving like this in 30 days? That less than 1% of them will actually follow up with their New Year’s resolution?
I know they don’t have a clue, I know it, just as I know that they all sat around during the last two weeks, on their couch formulating great ideas of what they are going to start today. Telling themselves they could not do it during the holidays, BECAUSE, “Nothing gets done during the last two weeks of the year.”
I beg to differ and I have many clients that have “Measurable proof”. BECAUSE they did not listen to that “Noise”. As a result they had a tremendously busy end of year.
I kept on hearing the quote from Nolan Bushenell in my head.
“A lot of people have ideas but there are few who decide to do something about them NOW. Not tomorrow. Not next week, But TODAY. The true entrepreneur is a doer.”
So good morning to all of you that are doers, that have maintained that level of energy and drive during the last few weeks of the year. For those of you that have not, or that want to make more of what you do on a daily basis, in order to achieve your goals. To become part of the 1% that will be accountable to yourself and achieve the goals you set out for yourself. Feel free to reach out to me and let’s discuss how we can make 2015 the year that is the one you want to mirror for the rest of your life.
Your goals, your dreams and everything in between. This time…….I am here to tell you that this time, things WILL be different. This is THE year. 2015 will be your best year yet and failure will not be an option. Not on my time it won’t be.
I know what you are going to say. I hear the voices in your head already. The army of negativity that has risen within and is waging the war against the general who is commanding you to move forward and defeat mediocrity because the truth is, I can lead you through this battle but only you can defeat the enemy. You are the only one who can destroy all the negative, self-deprecating thoughts that you allow to take up space in your brain.
David, “you don’t understand,” you say. David, “I’ve been down this path before,” “I’ve started over so many times that I’ve stopped counting,” you plead.
I know, and more so, I understand.
I know that you have witnessed countless of New Year’s come and go with your resolutions flying in the wind just a mere two weeks into the new year. Guess what, so has 99 percent of everyone else. You are not alone.
People often hear me say, “The difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline.” You need to write it down and make it happen. So take a moment RIGHT NOW, BEFORE the ball drops and you make your New Years Eve resolution and list the top three things you would like to accomplish in your life this year. Go ahead, write them down and be very specific.
No pressure. If you are afraid then you will continue to live a life that is less than what you deserve and quite honestly, you don’t deserve better if you don’t believe in yourself. BUT if you stand steadfast in your belief that you are reading this for a reason and there is no such thing as coincidence and that you have received this or even stumbled across it for a reason, then get ready for a total transformation, because YOU have to believe that you have what it takes. Remember another David Truism, “What ever the mind can perceive it can and will achieve…”
There is no shame in failing, it’s how we rise again that matters.
Below you will find the top 4 things that you will need in the first few weeks of January. Through my blog, I will continue working with you on a monthly basis over the next 12 months. Don’t be shy. Ask questions, leave a comment, email me or even message privately, but DO SOMETHING.
My advice for the month of January:
Take action – Write down your top 3 goals for the year. No goal is too big or too small.
Believe you can do it – Remove the Noise…..Remember, YOU CAN and YOU WILL!
Failure is NOT an Option – Set backs are different than failure. Keep your eye on the prize and move forward.
Stay Strong – Our mind is a powerful tool. Mental strength will propel you in the right direction, so negate all the negative thoughts and focus on strategies that will help you win the war.
2015 is closely upon us. Decide to make it a year that is all about creating what YOU WANT AND DESERVE.
From my family to you and yours, I wish you a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year, complete with personal fulfillment and happiness.
It’s Monday and yes…..It’s almost the end of 2014. What does that mean for you?
It means…….THE PERSON WHO WINS IS THE ONE WHO THINKS THEY CAN!
Can you win? Do you have it in you?
Success begins with a positive state of mind. Believe that you can do it because at the end of the day, it’s you against yourself.
Spare me all the excuses, the half-truths, the procrastination and all the other “Noise” you tell me, such as; David, in the new year I will do this, or I will do that. Forget the half-truths you tell me, what about the ones you tell yourself?
I already work too many hours, I don’t have time to do that.
I’m afraid of making the call.
I’m not sure I can do that.
I can’t do it because it’s never been done like that before.
I don’t think it will work.
I don’t have everything in place yet, in order to do that, Let me wait until I have it all together to start.
I don’t have enough resources to make that happen.
I’m afraid to make a mistake.
The ONLY good part about verbalizing these self-defeating comments to me is that I get to combat them and work through them with you. To have your abilities overtake these fear based comments. I am more concerned about the ones you don’t verbalize. Those are the silent killers.
The only person that wins is the one that thinks he CAN! He turns the “Think” Into “It will happen by…”
If you don’t take risks, you won’t succeed. If you want to win but think you can’t, you’ve lost already. If you believe in yourself it becomes a self-fulfilling reality. Don’t let others discourage you. Don’t let the negativity permeate the world you work so hard to create around you. Don’t let other people’s “Noise” become your “Noise.”
It’s not you against them…..It’s YOU vs. YOURSELF!
“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do”
If you are reading this you have already taken the steps to strip away the mediocrity; now prove to YOURSELF that what your mind can perceive it WILL achieve.
At first glance one would not imagine a philosophical book regarding war would ever be perceived as a business read. However, like much of what I teach on a daily basis, the Art of War is about the way you should develop your mind and the way you process your thoughts. The way to strategically and mentally prepare yourself on a daily basis to “Remove the Noise” from all aspects of your life. Once you have achieved that, you can;
Set goals and DESIGN a plan of action.
Formulate the path of IMPLEMENTATION.
Put your plan into ACTION and build MOMENTUM.
Stabilize for measurable and sustainable GROWTH.
Finally, make it a way of life. A LIFE without noise and excuses that hold you back.
Our firms’ motto is; Mediocrity is unacceptable. I instill this value in one form or another, into each one of my clients programs. Not only because I want them to be the best, but for one reason and one reason only, because I know they have it in them to be the best! I know they have what it takes to accomplish the goals they set out for themselves. Otherwise I would never work with them.
We are never too old to start moving away from things that hold us back and to “Remove The Noise”…
While reading the paper I stumbled across the very essence of what I am talking about on a daily basis. His name is Cory Nieves, he is proof positive that we are surely never too young.
Cory Nieves is an impressive CEO. A stylish man to say the least and the poster child for NOT Accepting Mediocrity. When life handed him lemons, he didn’t make lemonade, he made hot cocoa and cookies and began an empire and he did it all by the ripe age of 10 years old.
How? … Why?…
He did this because he DID NOT accept mediocrity. When faced with the challenge of his mother not having a vehicle to drive him back and forth to school and enduring too many winter mornings waiting for public transportation, he developed a can do attitude, he didn’t accept his shortcomings and was determined to figure out a way.
Some may ask; Was he more fearless than others? Naive to failure? I do not have the answers for I do not know Mr. Nieves personally but I will say this, whatever fueled that fire within, he for sure DID NOT allow being a product of his environment to hold him back. He DID NOT allow noise to fester in his mind and more importantly, he DID NOT allow mediocrity to be a staple in his world.
To date, Corey Nieves has accomplished more than his original goal of getting his mother a car. Take a page from Cory’s book and never forget
Have you ever heard the term, Success is not accidental? Well you know what? …. IT ISN’T!
There are no shortcuts, more than likely you won’t win the lottery and above all, wishing for things or the right situation will not help you either.
Let me ask you, do you think that people that have good working relationships, or a great marriage, or are in good physical shape, all happened by accident or did they have measurable goals and a road map on how to attain their desires?
I can’t stress the importance of having goals and more importantly, WRITING THEM DOWN!
You need to see your goals in black and white. Go ahead, write them down now. Yes, stop reading for a moment and write down your top 5 goals, RIGHT NOW!
1.What are your career goals?
2.What are your relationship goals?
3.What are your health and fitness goals?
4.What are financial goals?
5.What are your spiritual goals?
Did you write them down? Are you holding them in front of you? Having your goals in your head is not enough. “Remove the Noise.” Stop all the excuses you tell yourself. You are not too old or not educated enough or whatever other road blocks you set up in your brain to help you procrastinate from doing what needs to be done to take you to the next level.
You may have a dream, you may have a wish but they won’t become a reality by wishing them into existence.
I can’t tell you how many times during my coaching sessions I have grown men become emotional when they see their goals written out. There is an enormous amount of drive that rises to the surface because their inner being truly wants what is written on those pages. Whatever feelings arise within you, work with it, harness that emotion. Whether it be good or bad, because they will catapult you to the next level. Just keep in mind to remove the noise. Keep the negativity at bay and use the good feelings to keep yourself accountable. Dissect and break your goals down in order for them to be measurable on a quarterly, monthly, weekly and daily basis.
I work with successful people all day long. They don’t come to me because they are lacking financially. In fact, the opposite is true. They want to be super successful. Not only financially but in all aspects of their lives. A financial goal is perfectly ok with me but I hold them accountable to the top 5 goals we just discussed above and then some. I hold them accountable to THEMSELVES. I want to develop who they are as a Leader, a friend, a sibling, a parent, etc. Like a fine tuned instrument, or a perfectly choreographed play. A TRUE leaders worst critic is themselves. I’m doing the same with you today.
Stop procrastinating, make a change right now. Not tomorrow, not later, RIGHT NOW!
Keep me posted…..I would love to hear from you.
“Mediocrity is self-inflicted and Genius is self-bestowed.”
A line made famous by actor Alec Baldwin in the 1992 film Glengarry Glen Ross.
22 years later…..Listen very carefully, 22 years later and the premise is still the same today. What are you willing to do to get the deal done? How persistent are you? What’s your motivating factor? Are you doing what works consistently?
Wake up people! You want to make 500K a year, a million dollars a year, or even more….I don’t care what the number is; What I do care is that you have the drive, the perseverance and the work ethic to get up every morning and do what others aren’t willing to do. When you accomplish that, the numbers will follow.
Successful people do what unsuccessful people aren’t willing to do.
It doesn’t matter what you’re selling. Do people want to do business with you? Ask yourself these leading questions, then sit down and look in the mirror.
