Posted on June 4, 2015

Take Action, Today!

Sitting at my local Starbucks recently, I overheard a young adult asking her mother; “Why did you let me quit?”  The young lady was making reference to her younger days as a ballet dancer. The mother was taken aback by the questioning.  Her reply was simple, “I let you quit because you wanted to.” I of course, being my shy self introduced myself and stimulated a conversation. The mother didn’t want to push her daughter. She felt she didn’t show any passion for the activity.  Now, years later, the mother found herself in a catch 22 situation.  The daughter felt that she didn’t know better.  That she needed someone to tell her what to do and yes, even if it was forced, she felt that her life would have turned out differently had she had that push. The young girl felt that she would be thinner today, more confident and more importantly, she would have been confident enough to have conquered life, and so forth and so on.

Are you that young lady is some way shape or form? Do you need a push, someone to tell you to jump as you stand at the edge of the cliff called life?

JUMP! Yes…..DO IT……JUMP!!!

I am here to tell you that if you want to be successful, if you want to go farther than you ever imagined, then you need to jump. Take that leap of faith; Trust that I know what I’m talking about and take the first step to making your dreams a reality.  As you stand on that cliff of life, you may not have those white wings that you need to carry you safely to the bottom, but guess what?  Sooner rather than later those wings will extend and YOU WILL land safely.

Now hear me when I tell you this, you will stumble, you will lose control and descend faster than you would like. You will feel uncomfortable and you will lose faith that you will not be able to attain your goals. You will face all that and much more, but in the end YOU WILL SUCCEED!

Standing on the edge of the cliff, do you want to be that young girl full of regret, or do you want to jump and try to spread your wings?  The choice is yours.  I’m here to tell you that it’s better to jump and try to accomplish something, rather than to stand there and look out over the horizon and wonder why life isn’t fair.

Here are a few steps on how to prepare for your leap:

  • Determine what EXACTLY you want to achieve, and then write it down.
  • Formulate a precise plan, a road map if you will on how to get there.  Make sure you have specific milestones and a specific timeline as to when you will hit each milestone.
  • Take action. Implement your plan with passion, desire and unwavering conviction that you will succeed.

 

Posted on June 2, 2015

GIVE MORE OF YOURSELF!

It is said that the difference between steam and hot water at its boiling point is 1 degree; One simple degree. On paper and in black and white, one degree seems so insignificant, correct? Yet, to leap from that one stage to the other in business, seems so insurmountable when it comes to obtaining our goals. Why do you think that is? 

I have clients who first start out with me and spew out the barrage of excuses.

Think of yours now, go ahead, I know your brain is rattling them off anyway………..NOW STOP THE NOISE!!!!

I’m here to tell you that No excuse that you can come up with will stop you from succeeding. I believe if you have the drive, the passion and the persistence, you WILL make that dream come to fruition. 

You can choose to be mediocre or you can choose to be spectacular but at the end of the day you need to choose which path you would like to travel down. It’s not enough to work hard. Working hard will make you relatively successful but it is those who excel that bring the water from hot to boiling, those individuals that hunger to reach the pinnacle of success and without a certainty of doubt know that one degree is just that, a number, nothing else.

Whether in business or in your personal life………….bring it to a boil. Give more of yourself and don’t quit. You are just one degree away from brilliance. 


 

Posted on May 20, 2015

There is no substitute for passion.

Is it drive, passion, or is it purpose?

Are you thinking no matter what you do, no matter how small or how big, no matter what you complete, you are constantly thinking or even stressing over the next big “Thing”, the next milestone in your life. Is it hard to simply take pleasure during the journey on the road to your accomplishments? You feel the heated need for the next success all the time.

When is enough really “ENOUGH”? The need to do more and making more happen, is a clear indication that you are being motivated by your drive, not by your passion.

The difference between drive and passion…

There are many different factors that can motivate you.  When you are motivated by your passion, you are in line with your vision, your goals with every part of your being and belief. You are focused on getting things accomplished because you are really inspired to see this vision become a reality.  You truly have a sense of urgency and importance of not only manifesting your goal, but enjoying the path in making it happen.

When you are motivated by passion, you are able to take a step back and enjoy the fruits of your labor once you have achieved your goal. You have the ability to take a break and feel good about what you have done. You are satisfied with your accomplishment.

Now, being motivated by drive may yield similar results to being motivated by your passion.  You achieve your goals, however, it feels very different.  If you complete goal after goal, and still feel like you haven’t accomplished enough, you are most likely being motivated by drive. When you are motivated by drive, you are being driven from a place of fear and insufficiency.

When you are motivated by drive, your desire for success, recognition or materialism overtakes your sense of purpose and your true vision. When you are motivated by drive, you are actually disengaged from your passion.

How can you recognize if you are motivated by drive and not passion?

No matter how much money you make, you still feel like you need to make more. Even after you have reached your goals.

You achieve the goal you had been working on, and immediately change focus on the next goal. Not stopping to enjoy the moment.

You have difficulty committing to and sticking to your “C” time, your personal time.

You spend more time working then you want to, even though when you dissect it, you are actually only working four hours a day productively.

You are often exhausted and overwhelmed. Your adrenaline is carrying you.

You feel most comfortable when there is “too much” going on.

Do you want to stop having your drive motivate you and get real?

Once you recognize that it is drive that is motivating you instead of your passion, it’s time to take a closer look at your fears and your limiting beliefs. Some common limiting beliefs that are behind drive are: “There is never enough”; “I don’t know what I want out of life, so I will work harder and I will find it” (without purpose). And the good old standby, “I have to prove myself to my _____________” (insert father, mother, wife, sibling. Or even worse, some insignificant person that should not even be allowed in your head anymore).

Take some time to identify the fear and limiting beliefs that are behind your drive, and work with them. Next, take some time to get clear on what excites you. What is your purpose?  In other words, begin to connect to your passion; what is exciting about your career, your business, your family, and your vision. Examine if you can excel forward from the position of passion, vision and purpose to get things done.

At the end of the day, the single most important reason to be motivated by passion and purpose instead of raw drive is sustainability.   If you are passionate about achieving your goals in all aspects of your life, you will act upon them consistently. Not merely go through the motions in order to feel fulfilled by your drive.

Get passionate about life and all it holds in store for you.

Get focused on what is really important to you.

Get real with yourself and the world around you will be real to you.

And most important, ACT ACCORDINGLY, with passion focus and a true sense of purpose.

Posted on April 29, 2015

Failure?

QUOTE:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

— Michael Jordan

Failure can be such a disappointing Blow. Ouch! Frustrating!

You work hard, you push everyday, you give it your all, you think you have mastered “It” and at the end of the day, sometimes… after all of that, some thing still gets in the way.

I don’t know about you but I would NEVER consider Michael Jordan a failure. He didn’t let fear stop him and neither should you. I’m not encouraging anyone to fail but when we do, we should learn from that experience and understand that failing helps us grow and become even more successful. Stronger, wiser and yes even more accomplished!

I want you to take risks. No matter what you have experienced in the past, make today the day you will commit to dusting yourself off and begin anew.

Let me ask you: What is one action you have been putting off that would change the game for you?

Identify it. Strategize how to tackle it. Embrace it.

NOW TAKE THE FIRST STEP IN ACCOMPLISHING IT!


 

Posted on April 21, 2015

What is your Cookie?

In Jewish tradition, it is customary during a funeral, especially a funeral for one’s spouse, to ask for forgiveness from the deceased spouse for any transgressions that may have occurred throughout the entire marriage. Clearly, after 54 years of marriage, one would think that we would have plenty to ask forgiveness for. Maybe an ill thought, a bad word spoken in anger, something, anything and yet, during the funeral of the great Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach’s wife, people were stunned to hear the following message out of the mouth of the great Rabbi himself:

“Although it is customary to ask forgiveness from a person that has passed on,” “I shall not do so. Throughout our entire marriage we never offended or hurt one another. We conducted our lives according to the laws that govern our faith, and I have no reason to ask her forgiveness.”

After many, many years of marriage and what must feel like a lifetime, how could he utter those words with complete confidence? Surely one must have something to be forgiven for, no?

The Rabbi, a great teacher who was described as a “Gentle Giant”, once told a story that I feel shows a great sign of self-control. And better yet a “work around” that can be used in every aspect of todays life, especially in the business environment. He stated that everyday before he walked into his house, a home in which his lovely wife (Chaya Rivkah Ruchamkin) would be waiting to greet him, prior to walking through his front door, he would eat 2 COOKIES before entering the dwelling. He did this in preparation for the “unexpected.” What if dinner wasn’t ready? He didn’t want his hunger pangs to inflict any ills on anyone, especially not his wife, so he prepared ahead of time. 2 cookies, everyday before entering his home controlled any ravenous hunger pangs and thus caused the Rabbi to remain in control.

My question to you today is, What is Your Cookie?

What do you do everyday in anticipation for your less than perfect reaction? Reactions that if not anticipated ahead of time would hinder your progress in all you do or say. It is time to find your cookie. “Stack the deck” as we say in business. Don’t be blind to the behavioral traits you have that can cause an undesirable reaction. Don’t just stand there and say that you know you have this habit and you are “working” on breaking it. Work around it. Use the cookie and walk through life knowing you are in control of your thoughts, actions and ultimately your life and the way you want it to play out.

Develop a thorough understanding of what may cause you to react according to your surroundings and allow for a design to circumvent, that which may cause your legacy to be tainted. Like the Rabbi, whom, upon his death had a turnout of nearly 500,000 people at his funeral, you want to be remembered for your greatness in all areas of your life too; family, friends and not just business.

What are they going to think when you are not only gone, but simply when you step out of the room.

Leave your mark starting today……………What is your cookie?


Posted on April 10, 2015

Is it Crazy?

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Insane Focus:

Do More of What Matters…

  • Identify what actually matters most. Be honest with yourself about the actions that truly move the needle in your business and your life. An 80/20 analysis is a great place to start. If you’re stuck, just think of the tasks you fear the most, that give you anxiety just to think about. Those are likely the most important.
  • Pick your top 3-5 tasks each day. These are the things that must happen no matter what gets in the way. If you get these done your day is a success. Stick to no more than five. Then at the end of each day measure the results. They must move you closer to your big goals. Checking email does not count.
  • Do not connect to anything until your set tasks are done. Don’t convince yourself you need the Internet or email to do your most important tasks. 95% of the time you don’t. Leave the Internet off and phone on airplane mode until you crush through the important tasks. If your tasks are segmented throughout your day, then disconnect yourself from email and cell phone for the times you are handling the task at hand.
  • Kill multitasking. Stop thinking it’s more efficient. It’s not. No surfing during phone calls, reading during meals, chatting while writing. Do one thing at a time. Simple. Not only is multitasking terribly inefficient, but it stresses you out and it’s rude to anyone around you.
  • Handle the task at hand from “Cradle to Grave”. Leaving a voice mail or sending an email is not completing anything. Don’t fool yourself in believing anything other then the desired result is acceptable. The idea of focus is to complete what you set out to do. Anything short of that is Mediocrity at its best.
  • Plan more time for each task. This is the easiest way to balance the schedule. And things always tend to take longer than we think. If your core task will take you 45 minutes, then block out 60 minutes. Actually schedule it on your calendar. If it only takes you 40 minutes then suddenly you have free time.
  • Take breaks and reward yourself. Most of us can only intensely focus on something for an hour at best. Take at least a few-minute break every two hours or so to clear your head. Find a fun way to get you free and clear. Take a walk, meditate, feed the ducks, breathe, get a snack or some water or listen to an inspiring song. You pick it. But in order to remain focused and effective you have to disengage every so often and recharge.

At the end of the day intense focus is the key to success. I have said it time and time again.

“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do”.
Then ask yourself, why would you care if some insignificant people think you are crazy???

Posted on April 1, 2015

FEAR!

What do I fear?

I fear stagnation and lack of progress.

I fear never reaching my potential and being average.

I fear being forgotten… The past… Yesterday’s news.

I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night.

I fear settling, giving in to the “that’s just the way it is” mindset.

I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along.

These fears feed me, they nourish my drive.

I love my fear.

– Unknown-

In life there are winners and losers. What separates the winners from the losers? FEAR!

The Problem is, people allow fear to cripple them. I’m here to tell you that you were born to win, but in order to actually accomplish it, you have to let go of those limiting beliefs that hold you back. You MUST plan to win and prepare by setting goals. Much like the famous saying: “Build it and They Will Come” type of mentality; Expect to win!!!

Own your fears, push into them everyday and the most amazing thing will happen, you will grow by every experience.

Realistically, you can’t rid yourself of fear 100%. Its in our DNA to react but its my hope that you will change what the fear based symptom is. To distinguish between a false negative and learn how to harness the power within to move up the success ladder.

Start living! When you get overwhelmed, scared or fed up in all the hard work you think is blocking you from reaching the next level, remember the end goal, which is to be great and leave your mark in this world. You can do it! Now you need to believe. Stop the noise and get out of your own way and accept all challenges that come your way. In this way, you will feel the thrill of victory instead of fear.


 

Posted on March 17, 2015

Get Healthy

It’s Spring! Flowers are blooming, birds are singing, the sun is shining and faces are smiling. There is nothing quite like it!

Spring is often the time of year when you engage in some spring cleaning; getting rid of what’s been stored over the winter that you doubt you will ever use again. Cleaning the yard and around your home ridding yourself of the debris that has built up over the winter, and creating more order in your cupboards and closets.

What about your mental debris? You know, those limiting beliefs, those skewed expectations, that internal dialogue – “The Noise” — that is just not serving you any longer. What do you do with that? Most of us simply let it sit; like the filters in our furnace, these mental filters stay filled with dusty debris — much of which we no longer have use. Yet those beliefs, expectations, and thoughts influence every aspect of your life. They influence not just how you interpret what you experience, but they influence what you notice (and what you don’t).

In the spirit of spring and of cleaning, here are six reasons for more mental.   (The acronym is HEALTH)

Hindrance: Get rid of the people in your life that are a hindrance. The naysayers. The negative people that hate their lives. The very people that are always complaining about the Noise that they create in their own lives and are not willing to do anything about it, in turn it spills over into your life.

Energy: Constructive, positive thoughts create energy. If you want more energy (and I cannot say I have met anyone who said they didn’t), you need to ensure you nourish your brain and your bloodstream with chemicals like dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin…natural, effective, healthy ‘dope’ for your brain!

Assurance: The only way to be sure (as sure as you possibly can) you will be mentally healthy/psychologically well is to take preventative, deliberate steps to be mindful of your mind (thoughts). When you first engage this thought pattern, you will be surprised at some of the thoughts that are holding you back from fully experiencing a full life.

Life: Your very life depends on your psychological health. Without a healthy brain — one that serves you — your very life is at stake. (Not to be overly dramatic — but, really, think about it!!)

Trust: Cleaning out the debris in your brain — the negative thoughts, the limiting beliefs, the unrealistic expectations, the life-sucking story — will inspire trust in yourself and others’ trust in you. You’ll be the kind of person other people want to be around. And that increase in social connection with nourish your brain, which relies on it!

Harmony: In a world filled with epic disasters (planes disappearing, ferries sinking, extreme weather destroying homes and lives) and stories of people losing control of their psychological well-being (murder- suicides, workplace shootings, violent rampages) Mental Spring Cleaning will help you to add some peace and balance in a world of people that settle for mediocrity. Rise above -the social mediocrity and be a true “One-Percenter”.

What’s your favorite mental hygiene habit?

At the end of the day, you are in control of your own behavior.  Clean out the noise and make life everything that you desire, crave and deserve.

 


 

 

Posted on March 11, 2015

The power of coaching.

 

How apropos to stumble upon a clip of this funny movie (Shallow Hal) to make today’s point.

I’m sure most of us at one time or another has seen the movie starring Jack Black (Hal Larson) as the superficial, modelesque obsessed man who only sees a woman’s physical beauty instead of their inner beauty. Of Course, as fate would have it, he runs into the famous Life Coach and Self-Help guru Tony Robbins, whom, while stuck in an elevator, hypnotizes Hal into recognizing only the inner beauty of women.

The question lends itself, how does this relate to everyday business?

If you want to be a LEADER, then you need to be credible. In order to be credible and accomplish that, you need to know whom you are talking to, whether it is a single individual or an entire audience. If you are presenting yourself or your message in a superficial manner, then you are not going to come across as real or authentic.

Listen very carefully, I’m the guru today and you are my shallow Hal. Let me hypnotize you into believing two very important things…

In order to be successful, the person on the other side of the table needs to BELIEVE and FEEL within themselves that you are being sincere, honest and have their best interest at heart. Then and only then do you have the platform to demonstrate that you are the expert in the field, and in turn they will buy you and what you are selling.

The reality is, in our ever-changing society where everyone is looking towards the Internet or technology in order to satisfy their every desire, the truth is, people are craving the basics. The one on one, face-to-face real person interaction, in order to confide in someone they truly feel comfortable giving their business to, but most importantly, trust to get the job done. The competition is so small. With all of the call centers in other countries and all of the commerce done over the internet, more and more high powered individuals are craving the REAL sales professional. Not some call center operator or superficial idiot on the other end of a internet connection.

Dare to be different, stop trying to follow a script, take control of your sales process and demonstrate in all areas of your life that you are the rainmaker. That you are the true professional in your world. That at the end of the day the people you meet not only want to do business with you, but they NEED you in their lives.


 

Posted on February 12, 2015

STOP THE NOISE!

How do you want to be remembered?

As the person that stumbled, failed and did not get back up?

As the person who saw their setbacks as temporary and did NOT lose their confidence to push forward and accomplish greatness?

Today we celebrate the birth of a man who is the epitome of the latter. A man who after enduring numerous failures, trials and tribulations, ones that would break even the strongest of persons, ran for president, a position he had no business running for, but he did and guess what, … HE WON!

I want you to keep something in mind: YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK.

You have what it takes inside of you. Be persistent, try different things but never give up until you reach your goal. Limits exist only in your mind so I need you to believe that you can accomplish your goals.

The one thing I don’t want to hear is the whoa is me attitude. You know who you are. You THINK you’ve done all you can do…..WRONG!

STOP THE NOISE! Get real with your goals. How far are you willing to go to accomplish them? If you settle for good enough, then that’s all you will ever be. But SUCCESS, true success comes from hunger, desire and a willingness to do what others aren’t.

Like Lincoln, if you have failed then get up, dust yourself off and begin a new, because there is no better time than the present to change your world. No one is perfect but the ultimate goal is right in front of you. What better day to start and take control of your future than on this monumental day. Make Lincoln’s birthday your marker and by next year, your accomplishments will speak louder than your words. Get up, get out and do it. Don’t complain, don’t make excuses, ignore the naysayers, in fact, make them choke on their words.